Plotting Babies

I feel like my babies hear me say “I’m getting up at 6am to work on the yard and get things done around here” and they begin to plot on me:

“No, mom should sleep in and get some rest.”

“I got it! Let’s keep her up all night long so when 6am comes she’s way too tired to get out of bed.”

“Perfect! Let’s tag team waking up all night long starting at 12:30.”

“Cool… man I’m gonna get hungry in the middle of the night if I’m up helping her stay awake.”

“That’s alright. Just make sure you cry enough to make your way into bed with her so you can nurse.”

“She keeps saying she doesn’t want to nurse me anymore.”

“Kick the crap out of her and don’t settle down. I bet she will nurse you.”

“You’re right.”

“But make sure you claw her face the whole time you’re nursing so she can’t do that thing where she drifts off to sleep while you’re eating.”

“Not a problem.”

“Since I know nursing also makes you sleepy, I’ll make sure to periodically yell through the monitor after you eat to keep her up.”

“Great! We can finally get some rest at 5:30am. After all of that mom won’t have any energy to get up at 6am and she will have no choice but to sleep in. We are such thoughtful babies.”

“As long as she’s up by 8am to give us breakfast.”

“Well, obviously.”